Cash, Straps, Booze and Directions. These four words comprised my most recent, and possibly my most exciting ‘to do’ list. After I wrote them down in plain blue ink on a little white notepad, my sister walked by and glanced at the list. She stopped mid-step for a double take to make sure she had read it correctly, then soundly informed me whatever the heck I was doing, she wanted IN.
It would be fun to claim I have a secret voyeuristic life style; however, the truth is far more interesting. I bought a used washer and dryer off craigslist and didn’t want to forget anything the day I was going to pick them up. Okay, so maybe the truth is only slightly less interesting than the fantasy world. My list? Cash to pay for them, straps to tie them down, booze to bribe my help and directions so we wouldn’t get lost.
Now of course the cash, straps and directions all make perfect sense when buying an item off craigslist, but you may be wondering why I need booze to bribe my help. Living in a military town and being a single mom on a budget, I’ve discovered a wonderful secret. You can find an abundance of marines that will do your bidding, simply for beer. After years of being married, I’m well versed in begging for home repairs, pleading to have the bathroom floor re-tiled and tapping into my savings to secretly hire out the work then claim to have done it myself while he was at work. After all these years, even I was not convinced it could be that simple to get things done by a man around my home. Turns out, I was doing it all wrong.
I need help moving, will you work for beer? Yes, ma’am.
I need help building a swing set for my son, how much beer will that cost me? As long as there is a beer in my hand, I’ll keep working until it’s done ma’am.
I need to borrow a truck, drive 45 minutes away, lift a heavy washer and dryer into said truck, haul it 45 minutes back and unload it into storage. If you have a 12-pack, I have a friend with a truck ma’am.
God Bless America and the amazing marines that serve her greatness. Not only are they a blessing to our beautiful country, but a blessing to a single mother in desperate need of a helping hand around the house. No disrespect to any other branch of military service, as I am certain they are all wonderful, but I truly love my marine saturated town.
A few other perks I’ve noticed? These young men are usually in great shape and easy on the eyes. They are polite and respectful, which is something us girls don’t get enough of these days and they always seem genuinely willing to lend a helping hand. I’ve never had one roll his eyes and complain about having to help me (so far).
Now, if you visit my home, and open a certain closet to find cases of Bud Light stacked from floor to ceiling, let me assure you I am not an alcoholic. In fact, I rarely drink at all (it’s the truth I swear). This stash of booze is simply my rainy day fund, a unique kind of savings account you could say. I believe it’s important to be prepared for the future. When my air filters need to be changed, the back deck re-stained or the rain gutters cleaned, no need to grab my checkbook or beg an ex-husband or neighbor for help, just one little trip to my secret beer closet and this girl is covered!